EP: Washington DC – Republican presidential hopeful Herman Cain effectively bowed out of the race today, officially suspending his campaign. In front of a crowd of supporters, Cain explained his decision.”I suspend my campaign today in order to better pursue my relationships with various women to their full extent. The campaign limited my opportunity to… [Read more…]
July 25, 2011
EP: Oslo, Norway- A recent poll conducted by Gallup reveals that tall blond white males between the ages of 27 and 45 are overwhelmingly unconcerned that fallout from the recent terrorist attacks in Norway will result in increased profiling of tall, blond white men. Anders Behring Breivik, a 32 year old nordic man of white, anglo… [Read more…]
July 18, 2011
EP: Washington DC – During a press conference today, Republican presidential candidate Herman Cain openly questioned whether being a Muslim and a human being are intrinsically compatible. “First let me clarify that I am not a racist, or a bigot. Look at me, I am black, therefore those words cannot apply to me. However it is not clear to… [Read more…]
February 23, 2011
EP: Tripoli – Muammar Gaddafi, facing the greatest challenge to his 42 year rule of Libya, explained to reporters that when he said he would “fight to the last drop of blood” and “die as a martyr” during his wide-ranging and discursive 70 minute address to the nation, he was actually reflecting on the iconic… [Read more…]
February 11, 2011
EP: Riyadh – Amidst the collapse of Hosni Mubarak’s 30 years of rule in Egypt, Saudi Arabia’s Ministry of Foreign affairs is reporting a spike in visa applications from Arab autocrats under the country’s “Retired Tyrant” extended stay program. While an official from the Ministry declined to comment on who was applying, he did say… [Read more…]
January 26, 2011
EP : Amman – In effort to consolidate their power in the wake of Tunisia’s unprecedented popular uprising, several Arab monarchs are expanding their honorific designations. King Abdullah of Jordan, who was previously titled “His Majesty” will now be referred to as “His Ultimate Infinite Royal Eminence.” King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia, previously known as… [Read more…]
December 11, 2010
EP: San Francisco – Attorney General Eric Holder courted controversy at a charity dinner held by Muslim Advocates, a national legal-advocacy and civil rights group, when he “entrapped” and arrested several Muslim audience members in a sting operation during the evenings proceedings. Holder was initially greeted by the 300-person audience of Muslim civic leaders with… [Read more…]
November 30, 2010
EP: Cairo – As the United States diplomatic corps struggle to control the fallout from the latest Wikileaks release, Arab leaders are breathing a sigh of relief after becoming aware of the contents of the documents. “People are saying these documents are making us look bad” said King Abdullah of Jordan. “But trust me, I… [Read more…]
September 9, 2010
EP: NYC – Muslims across America will celebrate the ninth anniversary of the 9/11 attacks with a series of festivals this coming Saturday. While the events happen to coincide with the Eid holiday that marks the end of Ramadan, a month of fasting and prayer observed by Muslims around the world, noted Shariah expert and… [Read more…]
September 1, 2010
EP: Jeddah, Saudi Arabia – As the mosque controversy in New York City continues to garner attention from major US media outlets, one wealthy Saudi billionaire, Prince AlWaleed Bin Talal, is lamenting the lack of influence Muslims have in shaping the discourse. “Its really unfortunate” he explained to reporters at one of his construction sites,… [Read more…]
December 3, 2011
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