Browsing All Posts filed under »Personalities«

Arab Leaders Relieved Wikileaks Not as Bad as They Thought

November 30, 2010

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EP: Cairo – As the United States diplomatic corps struggle to control the fallout from the latest Wikileaks release, Arab leaders are breathing a sigh of relief after becoming aware of the contents of the documents. “People are saying these documents are making us look bad” said King Abdullah of Jordan.  “But trust me, I… [Read more…]

Helen Thomas Still Waiting for $2 million Offer from Fox News

October 22, 2010

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EP: NYC – Helen Thomas, a former member of the White House Press corps whose career in journalism spanned almost six decades, spent the day waiting by the phone for a call from Fox News. “It only makes sense, I mean if they are nice enough to give Juan a second chance and a $2… [Read more…]

Muslims Celebrate 9/11 Attacks with Festivals, Merrymaking

September 9, 2010

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EP: NYC – Muslims across America will celebrate the ninth anniversary of the 9/11 attacks with a series of festivals this coming Saturday. While the events happen to coincide with the Eid holiday that marks the end of Ramadan, a month of fasting and prayer observed by Muslims around the world, noted Shariah expert and… [Read more…]

Pakistan President Zardari Interrupts Vacation to Investigate Flood Damage to Personal Property

August 19, 2010

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EP: Karachi – Pakistani President Asif Ali Zardari interrupted his European vacation to return to Pakistan and inspect  damage to his personal property caused by the recent floods. Pakistan is facing its worst natural disaster in over a century as flooding from monsoon rains threatens to bury up to one-third of the country under water.… [Read more…]

Al-Qaeda Operative Says Ground Zero Mosque “Terrible” Location for Recruitment

August 16, 2010

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EP: NYC- In the swirl of controversy surrounding the so-called Ground Zero Mosque in New York City, another voice is raising eyebrows. A high-ranking Al-Qaeda operative, Abul Himar, spoke with reporters about the $100 million Park51 community center/mosque proposed for development a few blocks from the former world trade center site. “I couldn’t think of… [Read more…]

CNN Hires Vegetative Corpse of Ariel Sharon to Replace Octavia Nasr

July 9, 2010

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EP: Atlanta – In what is considered a bold, unorthodox move to improve the news network’s credibility, CNN has officially hired Ariel Sharon, the former Israeli Prime Minister, to be its Senior Middle East correspondent replacing 20-year veteran Octavia Nasr. Nasr was fired earlier this week for expressing  respect for Hassan Fadlallah, a shiite religious… [Read more…]

BP Seeks to Charge Clean-Up Crews for Recovered Oil

May 21, 2010

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EP: Baton Rouge – In the oil infested toxic swamp now surrounding his house in southern Louisiana, George Jones methodically scoops a bucket full of oil into a makeshift tank. “It has been a tough past couple weeks” he said, struggling to capture the oily residues that  contaminates his property, “lost my job, my property is… [Read more…]

Young Professional Pakistani-American Males Extremely Angry with Faisal Shahzad

May 7, 2010

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EP: NYC – A recent Gallup poll of Pakistanis in America revealed that Pakistani-American men between the ages of 26 and 37 who are married with children and working in professional occupations have rapidly developed a seething hatred of Faisal Shahzad, the 30 year old suspected Time Square bomber. Among other findings, the poll indicated… [Read more…]

Tiger Woods Adopts Palestine as his Celebrity Cause, Palestinians Disappointed

April 7, 2010

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EP: Hebron- On a regular day you might find Ramzi Hasan in better spirits. The 19 year old Palestinian  lived in Hebron most of his life, and despite decades of brutal occupation by the Israelis, was a relative optimist when it came to the future of his people. However, the announcement earlier today by Tiger… [Read more…]

Malaysian PM Najib Accused of Molesting Monkey

February 5, 2010

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EP: Kuala Lumpur – In another shocking revelation to rock the scandal-ridden nation of Malaysia, Prime Minister Najib Razak has been accused by a Kuala Lumpur-based monkey of molesting him during a late night encounter several weeks ago. The monkey, a 120 pound orangutan ape, regularly loitered outside the Prime Minister’s residence in Seri Perdana… [Read more…]

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