EP: Washington DC – Republican presidential hopeful Herman Cain effectively bowed out of the race today, officially suspending his campaign. In front of a crowd of supporters, Cain explained his decision.”I suspend my campaign today in order to better pursue my relationships with various women to their full extent. The campaign limited my opportunity to… [Read more…]
EP: Washington DC – First it was Michelle Bachman, then Rick Perry and Herman Cain. Now its Newt Gingrich’s turn to join Mitt Romney at the head of the pack. In what is shaping up as one of the most volatile Republican primary seasons of recent memory, former House Speaker Newt Ginrich is enjoying surging… [Read more…]
EP: Jerusalem – Gilad Shalit, the Israeli soldier held captive by Hamas since 2006, was released on October 18th in exchange for 1,027 Palestinian prisoners who have no names. At a press conference in Gaza city, a number of the recently released prisoners addressed the issue in front of a handful of reporters. “We realize that by… [Read more…]
EP: Oslo, Norway- A recent poll conducted by Gallup reveals that tall blond white males between the ages of 27 and 45 are overwhelmingly unconcerned that fallout from the recent terrorist attacks in Norway will result in increased profiling of tall, blond white men. Anders Behring Breivik, a 32 year old nordic man of white, anglo… [Read more…]
EP: Washington DC – During a press conference today, Republican presidential candidate Herman Cain openly questioned whether being a Muslim and a human being are intrinsically compatible. “First let me clarify that I am not a racist, or a bigot. Look at me, I am black, therefore those words cannot apply to me. However it is not clear to… [Read more…]
EP: New York - Real estate mogul turned TV personality Donald Trump is mounting an improbable run for the White House and claims to have a winning campaign strategy that will get thim there. “There are still a lot of racist people in America who are afraid to say racist things” explained Trump to reporters “what I am doing is… [Read more…]
EP: Peoria, IL – Earlier today Azim Ali, a civil engineer working in the county parks department, was declared “Not a Terrorist” by FBI agents in a press conference at city hall. “We had no reason to believe Mr. Ali was a terrorist, and after a six-months undercover investigations, we are convinced he is not… [Read more…]
EP: Tripoli – Muammar Gaddafi, facing the greatest challenge to his 42 year rule of Libya, explained to reporters that when he said he would “fight to the last drop of blood” and “die as a martyr” during his wide-ranging and discursive 70 minute address to the nation, he was actually reflecting on the iconic… [Read more…]
EP: Riyadh – Amidst the collapse of Hosni Mubarak’s 30 years of rule in Egypt, Saudi Arabia’s Ministry of Foreign affairs is reporting a spike in visa applications from Arab autocrats under the country’s “Retired Tyrant” extended stay program. While an official from the Ministry declined to comment on who was applying, he did say… [Read more…]
EP: Washington – As the Obama administration struggles to gain its footing amidst a series of protests unfolding across Egypt and the larger Middle East, many within the administration are expressing concern that an actual democratic movement is derailing official US policy for promoting democracy in the region. One administration insider who spoke on condition… [Read more…]
December 3, 2011
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